laughter is laughing at your audacity!

Validity…
To be valid. To make sense. To use logic.
       So a few years ago I did my own personal study of human reaction. I love to watch people react and interact.  Stating thoughts, weather the thoughts really mirror my own or not , just to watch the reaction of those ‘intelligent’ people around me makes my existence in the world a little  more jovial…a little more interesting.
      I am currently watching the reactions of those that think they know me or my diagnosis…hilarity is my constant companion.
      I will not deny that I have times of insanity. I do. Everyone does.
I am reminded of the great philosophers of centuries past. Those dudes were really crazy…until all of a sudden they made sense. Hehehehehe…then their weird crazy thoughts become a part of  reality. hmmmm
         I live my life with no apologies…always have.  Look,  we all have crazy tendencies, crazy thoughts, crazy interactions, crazy behavior.
That was really my point to all my crazies….embrace your crazy maybe you’re the very next Einstein.
Yet so MANY things happened because of my announcement…so so many.
First, watching people pick apart every word spoken and every nuance made was hysterical…yes h y s t e r I c a l!
  Amusing myself, I began to pick apart those that pick me apart…there are a LOT of craziness out there…just walking around…pretending to be normal. Hehehehehe
     Now I would NEVER deny my insanity…I’m kind of proud of it…like in the south they bring their crazy people out and brag…I love being so creative that I can slip into my ‘marys world’ and lose myself.  Now before when I used to say a statement like that people close to me would say…oh that’s just Mary…she is a little different and move along….but now that there is a definite known word,(schizoaffective, scitzophrenic, bi polar 11, any fucking really crazy word you would like to insert) attached to my name everyone gets all jumpy…it's so funny…cuz I have never changed…nothing about me has changed…but peoples perception of me changed…lmfao!
Problem is...im really ok… I move around a bit(transient)…but I believe I have conquered that.  I have weird thoughts (delusions). The difference in me and the resident crazy talking your ear off about stupid…is that I can recognize a weird thought and chose to put it in a story or laugh my ass off at my raining insanity.  I don’t get lost in it…like my poor crazies around me….I really really have a heart for them….they can’t find their way out and that makes me sad…but I don’t live there…I merely visit.  ;)
My words do get tangles in my mouth sometimes(jumbled speech)…I have so many thoughts...they sometimes fight themselves trying to be heard first… gripping the reality of any situation is paramount to survival.  And when you work around a lot of crazy people…well you better gird your loins. Hehehe
When I ‘don’t feel good’ I recognize it and stay away or don’t speak…’not sure’…don’t feel good’  are a very big part of my vocabulary because I do not trust my thoughts…Nor do I trust my perceptions…I contrast every nuance…sure wish everyone did!
I met a young girl the other day. She was talking with a group of girls. She told a story about her friend. She said, ‘that is like a schizophrenic…your so funny, girl.: and went on. People didn’t stop and analyze it… they announced it and went on. When I asked her about her thoughts on her ‘crazy’ friend she said, ya, she is different…very sweet, says the funniest things.” ahhh to be young.
Dang…I’m bored with this again…
But first let me remind you of the first few lines in the scriptures… God created our world while His world already existed…many worlds…I know it’s a little deep…it’s a little more then surface belief…its more then ‘Jesus loves me this I know’…oh well next time,maybe….