befriending truth
Stuck in the hiccup of pain…
Coaxing degradation from innocence…
Unwinding ribbons of hatred…
Recognizing agony casually, while trying to replace responses…
Survival is a tragedy…
Stuck in the hiccup of pain…
Taking the hand of a silhouette that cannot tolerate touch…
Transpiring against lunacy to negotiate with rage…
Living inside raw liquid emotions that must bubble to the surface without abatement…
Relinquishing history is a truce between the shadows that trip through the night…
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
laughing at my past thoughts
no time to dawdle now...
Current mood:fabulous
I cant be perfect but I can be Holy…devoted to the service of God
Abraham was not a perfect man… but he was Holy.
Holy -
Hmmmm, devoted to the service of God…Wow…that is all that means…
I guess religion was wrong …again…
The enemy sure got his crap all tied up in how we are to live our lives…
I bet he laughs and laughs at us all day and night.
I’ve seen my share of weirdness…
I’ve seen people forsake their family in the name of helping the church…the building…the uhahem the cause.
I’ve seen people run themselves ragged trying to be perfect. The perfect example. The perfect mother. The perfect wife. The perfect…
And he laughs and laughs….cuz while you run around trying to be perfect those of us who effing know we are not perfect watch and think ,hmmm well I already know I suck so…why try…
And he laughs and laughs…
I guess that is my secret…and I don’t mind sharing it with whoever wants to hear it…cuz trust me I KNOW who I am… and if you ever think of putting me under a microscope I will merely smirk my way through your word vomit. I know I cannot achieve perfection or anything even close to it…but I can be Holy.
See how we mess everything up.
Holy is not white billowing gowns.
Holy is not serene faces surrounded by filth.
Holy is not living above the masses.
Psht, Holy is merely living for God…in every second of every day… or at least trying to.
I am not perfect…there are lots of things I have to refrain from doing. And some things I do not refrain from doing because, well because in MY life…in MY life…MYMYMYMYMY life those things help me serve God.
Maybe not yours…that’s cool…we all get there how we get there…but make no mistake I WILL BE THERE… so you will have to find a way to collect your word vomit on your way outa my face and find a different cloud to hang on….cuz I serve God…and that my friend makes me Holy.
Current mood:fabulous
I cant be perfect but I can be Holy…devoted to the service of God
Abraham was not a perfect man… but he was Holy.
Holy -
Hmmmm, devoted to the service of God…Wow…that is all that means…
I guess religion was wrong …again…
The enemy sure got his crap all tied up in how we are to live our lives…
I bet he laughs and laughs at us all day and night.
I’ve seen my share of weirdness…
I’ve seen people forsake their family in the name of helping the church…the building…the uhahem the cause.
I’ve seen people run themselves ragged trying to be perfect. The perfect example. The perfect mother. The perfect wife. The perfect…
And he laughs and laughs….cuz while you run around trying to be perfect those of us who effing know we are not perfect watch and think ,hmmm well I already know I suck so…why try…
And he laughs and laughs…
I guess that is my secret…and I don’t mind sharing it with whoever wants to hear it…cuz trust me I KNOW who I am… and if you ever think of putting me under a microscope I will merely smirk my way through your word vomit. I know I cannot achieve perfection or anything even close to it…but I can be Holy.
See how we mess everything up.
Holy is not white billowing gowns.
Holy is not serene faces surrounded by filth.
Holy is not living above the masses.
Psht, Holy is merely living for God…in every second of every day… or at least trying to.
I am not perfect…there are lots of things I have to refrain from doing. And some things I do not refrain from doing because, well because in MY life…in MY life…MYMYMYMYMY life those things help me serve God.
Maybe not yours…that’s cool…we all get there how we get there…but make no mistake I WILL BE THERE… so you will have to find a way to collect your word vomit on your way outa my face and find a different cloud to hang on….cuz I serve God…and that my friend makes me Holy.
ya ...I still like this one too!
visual nothingness...
Perception is the secret.
What I’ve learned living inside my scream…
I’ve learned that friendships matter…
I’ve learned that you don’t know how far you can crawl until your bloody knees get you there…
I’ve learned that not everyone who acts interested in your life is as captivated by the passion you use to live it….
I’ve learned that words freefall sometimes just because the pain is much to unfathomable…
I’ve learned that love really is the answer to every formable question…
I’ve learned that passion is water I wish to drink from everyday…everyday…everyday…
I’ve learned that when you think your being forgotten…someone is ALWAYS watching…
I’ve learned that truth supersedes EVERY lie…
I’ve learned that pain erupts change…
I’ve learned that we are stronger then we have any right to be…
I’ve learned that victim is a state of mind that can and should be controlled then destroyed…
I’ve learned that I can’t hold the hate inside my mind… because what controls my thoughts controls my mind…
I’ve learned that when you feel like your drowning inside your pain, others are growing strong to bring you outside of it…if you let them…
I’ve learned that beauty is NEVER painless…
I’ve learned that when you think no one cares…someone is always willing to lead the ovation in your honor…
So…Thank you to all my friends who watched and waited for us to come outside our pain and find the utter true exquisiteness of living our life beautifully in spite of the darkness that tried to envelope us…
Perception is the secret.
What I’ve learned living inside my scream…
I’ve learned that friendships matter…
I’ve learned that you don’t know how far you can crawl until your bloody knees get you there…
I’ve learned that not everyone who acts interested in your life is as captivated by the passion you use to live it….
I’ve learned that words freefall sometimes just because the pain is much to unfathomable…
I’ve learned that love really is the answer to every formable question…
I’ve learned that passion is water I wish to drink from everyday…everyday…everyday…
I’ve learned that when you think your being forgotten…someone is ALWAYS watching…
I’ve learned that truth supersedes EVERY lie…
I’ve learned that pain erupts change…
I’ve learned that we are stronger then we have any right to be…
I’ve learned that victim is a state of mind that can and should be controlled then destroyed…
I’ve learned that I can’t hold the hate inside my mind… because what controls my thoughts controls my mind…
I’ve learned that when you feel like your drowning inside your pain, others are growing strong to bring you outside of it…if you let them…
I’ve learned that beauty is NEVER painless…
I’ve learned that when you think no one cares…someone is always willing to lead the ovation in your honor…
So…Thank you to all my friends who watched and waited for us to come outside our pain and find the utter true exquisiteness of living our life beautifully in spite of the darkness that tried to envelope us…
and another...
The path is still unclear...
Ahhh, taking a breath when I would rather succumb to the nothingness that I think that I am…
Hearing the sound of the voices that tell me that I have done great and mighty things…
Circumventing the reality that threatened to vanish from my fingertips.
The battle was much easier when I knew what I was fighting for…
Living inside the hiccup of awesome is tiresome and menial.
Climbing higher to illustrate the beauty of magical kisses…all around me…all around me.
Nativity was my shield….now the knowing overtakes my senses as I try to breath my tortured breath outside of my trembling body.
Clarity is the storm of discomfort, as I try to stand on my righteous legs once again…
Blowing kisses to those around me exhausts me when I sleep…
Turning to the masses engulfs my senses…
I row out as He did…
I become myself as I tear the scars from my soul.
Living inside the dream…is not any better then living inside the scream…
Knowing the outcomes frightens me beyond measure…
Words of wonderment scatter as I try to become the moment in an instant.
Ripping the grip of failure from my shaking form overcomes my rasping breath…
I screamed into the night once …don’t you see what I’m doing?
Mimicry is the sound of rebirthing and is now the response to my tears…
Remember…remember…surrounds my hateful stare into nothing…
My scars quickly redouble as I busied myself with me….
Swallowing air as I try to find some fear to provoke me.
Ahhh, taking a breath when I would rather succumb to the nothingness that I think that I am…
Hearing the sound of the voices that tell me that I have done great and mighty things…
Circumventing the reality that threatened to vanish from my fingertips.
The battle was much easier when I knew what I was fighting for…
Living inside the hiccup of awesome is tiresome and menial.
Climbing higher to illustrate the beauty of magical kisses…all around me…all around me.
Nativity was my shield….now the knowing overtakes my senses as I try to breath my tortured breath outside of my trembling body.
Clarity is the storm of discomfort, as I try to stand on my righteous legs once again…
Blowing kisses to those around me exhausts me when I sleep…
Turning to the masses engulfs my senses…
I row out as He did…
I become myself as I tear the scars from my soul.
Living inside the dream…is not any better then living inside the scream…
Knowing the outcomes frightens me beyond measure…
Words of wonderment scatter as I try to become the moment in an instant.
Ripping the grip of failure from my shaking form overcomes my rasping breath…
I screamed into the night once …don’t you see what I’m doing?
Mimicry is the sound of rebirthing and is now the response to my tears…
Remember…remember…surrounds my hateful stare into nothing…
My scars quickly redouble as I busied myself with me….
Swallowing air as I try to find some fear to provoke me.
some older posts from a different blog...
Frantically tracing the confines of my mind…
I lead myself into the erupting darkness from the light I see everywhere.
Resting outside tranquility I resurrect the future from my past.
Echoing resonance is the sing song voice of recognition.
Lilting voices cascade outside the realm of my hiccup of absurdity.
Quieting the rapture of the disease of my mind is comical.
Finding the solitude of yesterday is a remnant of delicacy.
Wrapping my brain in bubble wrap I climb the walls of transparency again…
I lead myself into the erupting darkness from the light I see everywhere.
Resting outside tranquility I resurrect the future from my past.
Echoing resonance is the sing song voice of recognition.
Lilting voices cascade outside the realm of my hiccup of absurdity.
Quieting the rapture of the disease of my mind is comical.
Finding the solitude of yesterday is a remnant of delicacy.
Wrapping my brain in bubble wrap I climb the walls of transparency again…
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
need more aha moments
Remind me today what I knew yesterday…
Rapture the essence of my spirit so I can feel safe again…
Lead me to the waters edge…I’m so thirsty.
Laugh gently into my ear ,so I can remain humbled by your nature and not my own.
Take the fear that whispers my name as I swoon to the mighty structure of who you are.
Read to me the love story you once spoke into existence as I gently wept at your majesty.
Lighten my thoughts as I scan the future for tomorrow…
Ease my trepidation as I long to be more…do more…see more…change more…
Exist inside the window of my mind so I can wander to you when I feel so weak.
Remind me that I am your princess, as I beseech you to rescue me…
Cherish my exuberance as I learn to crawl back to you again and again and again…
Clarify my thoughts so I can dream of the bliss I once shared with you…
Reach into my spirit and remind me of my passion…
Rapture the essence of my spirit so I can feel safe again…
Lead me to the waters edge…I’m so thirsty.
Laugh gently into my ear ,so I can remain humbled by your nature and not my own.
Take the fear that whispers my name as I swoon to the mighty structure of who you are.
Read to me the love story you once spoke into existence as I gently wept at your majesty.
Lighten my thoughts as I scan the future for tomorrow…
Ease my trepidation as I long to be more…do more…see more…change more…
Exist inside the window of my mind so I can wander to you when I feel so weak.
Remind me that I am your princess, as I beseech you to rescue me…
Cherish my exuberance as I learn to crawl back to you again and again and again…
Clarify my thoughts so I can dream of the bliss I once shared with you…
Reach into my spirit and remind me of my passion…
Monday, April 4, 2011
:)
Talking to the sound inside the invisible conversation.
Walking to the beat of the hiccup of laughter.
Blinking to remove the hazy conviction of rapture.
Humming inside the reality of yesterday.
Loving furiously in spite of the consequences.
Love, love, love, love…
Nonsensical sounds tickle my ears as I peer into me.
Swallowing my smile as I choke on the corruption of this world.
Finding the prettiness of pain.
Big gulps of air expand my lungs as I spring toward the destiny I crave.
Feather tip tickles caress my spirit as I lay peaceful inside my mind of utter rest.
Glancing back to never…forever envelopes me as I shudder with delight.
Words cascade around my eyes…
I dreamily wait for them to plant themselves exactly where they long to live.
Happiness shelters my trepidation.
Walking to the beat of the hiccup of laughter.
Blinking to remove the hazy conviction of rapture.
Humming inside the reality of yesterday.
Loving furiously in spite of the consequences.
Love, love, love, love…
Nonsensical sounds tickle my ears as I peer into me.
Swallowing my smile as I choke on the corruption of this world.
Finding the prettiness of pain.
Big gulps of air expand my lungs as I spring toward the destiny I crave.
Feather tip tickles caress my spirit as I lay peaceful inside my mind of utter rest.
Glancing back to never…forever envelopes me as I shudder with delight.
Words cascade around my eyes…
I dreamily wait for them to plant themselves exactly where they long to live.
Happiness shelters my trepidation.
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